I had a wonderful first Mother’s Day as a mom! We spent the weekend with family, and it was great. Friday and Saturday, Brooklyn and I went to Trussville to hang out with my family while Travis was camping for Gary’s bachelor party. I was able to get my hair cut for the first time in months, and I went shopping for some new clothes. It was so nice! Then, Sunday for lunch, we grilled steaks with Cheryl, Melissa, Alisha, and Tyler. Perfect weekend overall.
In honor of my first Mother’s Day, I thought it would be neat to share a few things I’ve learned since becoming a mom…
1. I can do things I never thought I could do. If you had told me back in January that my longest stretch of sleep for the first 11 weeks of Brooklyn’s life would be 4 1/2 hours, I would have laughed in your face. I never would have thought I could survive that. Or, that I would still be breastfeeding Brooklyn at this point after things were going so badly…never would have believed it. I felt like quitting so many times! Having a baby has definitely taught me how to persevere!
2. I can also leave a lot of things UNdone. My priorities have changed dramatically since Brooklyn was born. If I can brush my teeth and wash my face by lunch time, I consider that a success. Making the bed is an added bonus. Laundry day used to be every Wednesday…now it’s whenever I have a chance to throw some clothes in the washing machine. Cleaning the house before people come over? Probably not going to happen. As long as all three of us are getting sleep and enough to eat, I’m doing ok.
3. Having a baby is a great way to learn patience. Sometimes babies just cry. Sometimes they don’t want to sleep when you want them to. Or where you want them to. Sometimes they don’t want to eat when you feed them, but they decide they’re hungry 30 minutes later. Sometimes they aren’t happy no matter what you do. Since February, I’ve learned to just hang on for the ride. Getting frustrated with Brooklyn doesn’t do either of us any good. Patience is a virtue…it’s just hard to learn!
4. It’s ok to ask for help. There were many, many days during those first several weeks that I just needed help. Plain and simple. I needed someone to vent to (usually Mom!), someone to watch Brooklyn while I took a nap or hopped in the shower, advice about breastfeeding or something else, etc. If ladies from church hadn’t brought us food for that first month or so, I’m not sure what we would have eaten. Frozen dinners I guess. That was a huge help! I shouldn’t feel embarrassed to be overwhelmed, frustrated, or exhausted, and I don’t need to pretend to be superwoman. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you can’t do it all yourself.
5. The first two months are like boot camp, but it really does get better. It really irritated me when people would tell me that at first. It will get better, I promise. But it really does. I think the turning point for me was when Brooklyn started making eye contact and smiling at us. Before that, it just felt like I was taking care of an eating and pooping machine who cried a lot and didn’t appreciate anything I was doing for her. Add to that sheer exhaustion from little sleep, and that equals “hang on for dear life” mode. I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel until she started smiling and cooing at me. Just knowing that she knows who I am, actually likes me, and thinks I’m funny (or at least funny looking!) makes it all worth it.
6. Having an awesome husband makes all the difference in the world. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have survived the first two months without Travis. He’s been awesome! He doesn’t mind changing diapers or holding Brooklyn while he eats. He volunteers to hold her when he gets home from work so I can have a break. He was a huge encouragement when nursing was such a struggle. I can’t imagine doing this without him. It’s been an adjustment for both of us, but I’m glad we’re in it together!
7. I’m not going to be perfect. I’ve already made mistakes and done things I regret. Stuff like yelling at Brooklyn as loud as I could when she refused to eat after getting choked. Or telling my mom that Brooklyn was the “worst baby ever” in a moment of frustration. I guess that’s just like the rest of life though. I’m never going to be perfect, and I won’t be a perfect mom either. I just have to do the best I can and be willing to admit when I mess up!
8. Just when we think we have things figured out, we realize we really don’t. Brooklyn keeps us on our toes, that’s for sure! One day she’ll prefer to be held one way, and the next day, it’s something totally different. One day she loves her activity mat, and the next day she cries every time we put her on it. Babies are definitely not a model of consistency! I’ve learned that there’s no point in trying to “figure her out” because she’ll just change the next day (or the next minute!).
9. I appreciate my mom (and all moms) a lot more now. I’ve only been a mom for 3 months, so I know that I really don’t know that much about being a mom. But just getting a taste of it gives me an appreciation for moms that I never had before. It’s hard work!! Thank you, Mom, for all you’ve done for me!!
10. Life will never be the same. That’s another thing people loved to tell me when I was pregnant. Your life will never be the same. And that’s true. But they always made it sound like it was a bad thing. It is definitely a sacrifice of “me time” and “just the two of us” time. But, most days I’m not missing the way things used to be. I’m having too much fun watching Brooklyn grow and learn new things. There’s nothing like the feeling I get when she’s so happy to see me first thing in the morning when she wakes up. Or watching her coo and smile at Travis when he plays a game with her. (See below!). I’m looking forward to seeing how she’ll change over the coming months. So I’m glad that life will never be the same because I can’t imagine it without her!
The bottom line is that being a mom is hard work but so worth it! I’m thankful that God has given me such a blessing like this!
