Disclaimer: One of the main reasons I write in this blog is to help me sort through my thoughts and emotions and to help me remember past events in my life “in the moment”. This is going to be extremely long, may be unorganized and seem like rambling, and will be difficult to write and read. But, I need to write it, and I am sharing it in hopes that maybe something that I write will help someone else who is trying to deal with this tragedy or some other difficult situation.
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When I wrote my last blog post on the afternoon of April 27th around 3 PM, I had no idea how bad the weather situation across the state was, or how bad it was about to become. When I ended it with “Hope you are all staying safe today”, I never actually thought that someone I knew might not be. Travis ended up getting dismissed from work an hour early on Wednesday afternoon, so he got home just a little after I’d finished blogging. I’d been at the Hesters’ house twice already that day, and the weather was starting to look bad again. They were saying another tornado was coming for Monrovia, and Melissa called me just as I was about to call her, asking us to come back over to take shelter in their basement. It was between 4 and 4:30 when we went back over there.
We got down in the basement and stayed until it was safe to come back out. The power went off around 5 or a little after, and we all got our flashlights out and turned the battery-powered radio on. We went up and down out of the basement probably 5 more times over the next couple of hours, as they kept saying that more tornadoes were headed our way. The lightning, thunder, and rain were some of the worst I’d ever seen, and Jeff and Travis even saw what sounds like a tornado up in the air that wasn’t too far away. Thankfully, we stayed safe in their house.
Around 6:45 PM, I got a text from my mom that said, “Whew. Too close for comfort. We are fine.” We had no idea what was happening around the rest of the state at the time since we had no power and the local radio station was only discussing the tornadoes hitting north Alabama. My cell phone was dying and I couldn’t send a text or call out from my phone even though I could receive texts. Jeff pulled out their “old-timie” landline corded phone and told me I could use it to call my parents. When I got in touch with Mom, she told me that a huge tornado had come though Tuscaloosa and destroyed 15th Street, and had come up toward Trussville and missed their house by only about a mile. I felt sick to my stomach as I got off the phone, even though I was so thankful that my parents were ok. My thoughts immediately went to Tyler since he lives right over behind 15th Street. After I told Travis what happened, we got back on the phone trying to call Tyler and Alisha. It was almost impossible to get through, but Travis finally got in touch with Alisha.
And that’s when we found out that Tyler and Alisha were fine, but Marcus was missing, and his apartment building was gone. I don’t really know how to describe the feeling that went through my body when we heard the news. I felt like the blood just drained out of my body from my head to my feet. I’ve never felt that sensation before.
Over the next couple of hours, more storms came our way, and we continued to go back down to the basement and up again. Travis and I did our best to hold it together in front of all the kids, but it was really hard. We were finally able to leave the Hesters’ house and go back to our own house around 9 PM. We counted our blessings that our house was still there and we had no damage that we could see.
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The past couple of weeks have honestly been a blur. I’ve never felt such a whirlwind of emotions in such a short time period. Thankfulness that we and our immediate families survived the storms. Shock when we found out Marcus was missing. Hope that he would be found alive. Grief when he wasn’t. Questioning about why this had to happen at all. Regret that we couldn’t be in Tuscaloosa with our family and friends who were searching. Loneliness when we sat in the dark in our house at night feeling disconnected and so far away from everyone. Encouragement from the number of people who showed their love and concern for the Smith families. Comfort knowing that God is in control and knows best and wants the best for each of us.
Travis and I met Marcus in the fall of 2008 when he moved to Tuscaloosa for college. I distinctly remember us going to up to meet him at church the first time we saw him there. His smile, of course, was one of the things I’ll always remember. Travis gave Marcus his cell phone number and told Marcus to call him anytime if he needed anything.
Fast forward to the beginning of the spring 2009 semester…that’s when we really started getting to know him…when he and Katie started dating. The first time I can remember us hanging out with him was at the Valentine’s Day scavenger hunt that Alisha and Katie organized. (You can actually read about that here.).
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| Marcus was smiling, as always! :) |
Throughout the next year and a half that we lived in Tuscaloosa, we continued to get to know him better. We enjoyed going to football games and eating lunch together after church on Sundays on occasion. Marcus was the type of person that didn’t try to be the center of attention in a group, so what he did say was always meaningful and thought out. I was always impressed with the amount of thought he put into his prayers before he led them at Northwood.
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| Supporting his Hokies with a bunch of Bama fans!! |
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| After the Tennessee game in 2009 |
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| Celebrating with Elijah and Leisha at their baby shower (spring 2010) |
When it came time for graduation last May, Marcus and Katie came to the cookout that we planned for Travis, Tyler, and Jeremy.
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| Some of our best friends in t-town! |
After graduation, Travis and I got ready to pack up and leave Tuscaloosa. This is where we saw a great example of Marcus’s character. We planned our moving day for the Thursday after graduation, and we asked several people to help us load up our moving van. Wednesday night, Marcus came up to Travis at church and asked him if he could help us move. Now, that’s a good friend! Moving is not my idea of fun, but sure enough, Marcus showed up Thursday morning and was a great help to us. After we got the truck loaded, we took some of our “helpers” to City Cafe for one last lunch. After we ate, I made the guys pose for a picture. Even though they didn’t seem too thrilled about it at the time, I’m so glad I took that picture. Travis is planning to put it in a frame and put it on his desk at work :)
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| Great friends…a year ago today |
Travis planned a guys’ weekend at the lake last August, and a bunch of his friends came, including Marcus. From what I hear, they had a great time (mostly) playing Settlers of Catan and fishing all weekend. Marcus apparently was a natural at Settlers even though he’d never played before!
Although we didn’t get to see Marcus as much in the last year since we weren’t living in Tuscaloosa anymore, we always looked forward to seeing him when we went down for a football game or when he and Katie visited her family up here. Despite only knowing Marcus for a couple of years, he definitely made an impact on my life and the lives of many others. We will never forget him.
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I can honestly say that the events of 4.27 were a huge wake-up call to me. They literally have changed my life. Here are just a few things I’ve taken away from it:
Lesson #1: It’s just stuff.
I’m afraid that from the time that we bought our house in January until the storms happened, Travis and I were consumed with painting, buying “gadgets” and “toys”, decorating ideas, furniture arrangements, etc. Now I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to have a nice house, but it shouldn’t be our main focus. Just like a lot of people learned on April 27th, your house and everything in it can be totally destroyed in a matter of seconds. All of that hard work, time and money…totally gone. Although we didn’t have any structural damage to our house during the storms, we did have a power surge that fried some of our stuff inside. The list includes: our TV, Blu-ray player, garage door opener system, laptop power adapter, cell phone charger, GFCI outlet, and an alarm clock. At least, that’s all we know of so far. But, you know what? It can all be replaced! It’s going to be a hassle, and it’s not going to be cheap, but it can be done. It’s just stuff.
Lesson #2: Stuff can be replaced, but relationships can’t.
Instead of worrying as much about how our house looks, I need to be worrying about my relationships with my family and friends. Chances are they don’t care and won’t remember what my house looks like anyway, but they will remember me as a person. They’ll remember my attitude, my outlook on life, how I treated them, etc. When I die, I’m pretty sure my obituary won’t mention that I was a “super-couponer” at Publix or that we had the best landscaped yard. I hope it will say that I was cheerful, loving, hospitable, a good example, helpful, humble, etc. I need to be spending more time with my loved ones and less time with my stuff. I need to be telling them that I love them every chance I get because who knows when it will be my last opportunity.
Lesson #3: Be prepared.
The Boy Scout motto…be prepared. There are a number of ways this can apply. On a trivial note, I’ve learned that whenever there is a chance of lightning, we apparently need to be unplugging our electronics, even if they are in Monster surge protectors! I’ve also learned to take tornado warnings seriously. I cannot count the number of tornado warnings that Travis and I ignored when we lived in Tuscaloosa. It’s that attitude of “it’s nothing serious, weathermen always overreact, nothing bad is going to happen to me.” Well, it only takes one time of something bad happening to someone I love for my whole mindset to change. You better believe I’m going to be taking cover for the next tornado warning we have, and all others. However, even if I am in a “place of safety”, that doesn’t guarantee my safety. There were plenty of people on April 27th who knew the tornadoes were coming and took precautions but didn’t make it. Ultimately, the best and only way to be prepared is to be prepared spiritually. If I’m not guaranteed to make it through a bad storm, then I better be ready to meet God at the judgment day. And, not just in a storm, but really every day of my life. I’m sure the odds of dying in a car accident are a thousand or a million times higher than losing my life in a storm, and I drive my car usually every day. If my soul is prepared, then I’m always prepared. It’s hard to keep that focus on heaven, but I think that’s what Marcus was doing. And it’ll be great to see him there one day!
